Weebly, bless them, keep sending me marketing e-mails. "3 Tips for Writing Content that Sells" proclaimed the last one, because of course, that's definitely what I'm here for. Maximise! Monetise! Sell! Sell!! SELL!!! I feel like I'm letting them down somewhat, with my free-tool-using, no-money-giving ways, so here's a little advertising pitch to fit in better. First of all, we need a nice bit of stock art. Both women laughing at salad and women struggling to drink water are fine choices, of course, but today we'll go with this: Buy things or Pizza Dude gets it! Next we'll need some keywords. Sorry #keywords. Because everyone knows hashtags are totally cool when used outside Twitter and thus serving no useful purpose whatsoever. I'm thinking #excellence #futurevision #creativosity (did I forget to mention that made up words are the best words? They are. Always) Some sort of stupid graph about nothing would be good around now. But this will have to do instead: So are you convinced yet? Are you waiting with baited breath for a chance to buy my non-existent thing? Maybe if I mention that it's currently on special offer at a one-time-only never-to-be-repeated BARGAIN PRICE of zero pounds and zero pennies?
No? Damn. I tried, weebly, I tried!
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AuthorRuler of the Universe, antipodean sector Archives
April 2024
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